Week 2 Story: Welcome to Goblin City
It had been days since we'd seen any sign of land. About a week earlier a storm had come in from the East, knocking us off our course for home. We were beginning to lose hope. Food supplies became scarce and dehydration was starting to get the better of us. That's why when I saw a strip of sand peak over the horizon I couldn't help but cry out in joy. The gods had heard our prayers! I motioned for the others to look and together we all rejoiced. We began to row towards it and as we got closer we scanned the beach for any signs of life. Massive palm trees rose up into the blue sky and I could see that a vibrant jungle stretched as far as the eye could see. Small huts dotted the shoreline and upon further inspection we could see men working outside, gathering crops and fishing.
We finally reached the shore and as we were docking our boat a group of women caught our eye. A woman broke away from the group and approached us. Her eyes locked onto mine and I saw that they were a sort of emerald. They seemed as if they were lit from within, like their was a fire behind them that I couldn't quite understand. Whether it was good fire or an evil one I could not say. As soon as I stepped foot onto the sand I felt a cool breeze that chilled me down to the bone. I had a weird feeling about this.
"I'm Aadhya", the women said as she neared me. "My sister's and I live on this island." She beckoned to the women behind her who had begun to draw near as well. She proceeded to tell me how their ancestors were brought here because of a shipwreck. They were forced to take shelter on the island and later decided to stay and call this place home. Over time the women were married to men, some of which were locals and others who happened upon the land. One day, their husbands went out to sea and never returned. They begged us to stay and offered us their homes and jewels. They asked that we marry them and save them from a life of loneliness and desolation. They were beautiful, I have to admit but something inside me still felt uneasy. What choice did I have? I was worn, starving, and our boat was so weathered I feared it would not be able to survive another trip.
The women tended to our injuries, and called for a feast to be prepared for us. Over the next few weeks we became accustomed to the life we made on this island. The women treated us like kings and the allure of the land began to ease my doubts. Aadhya approached me again propositioning the same thing she had that first night. This time I agreed and we were married the next week. I pushed back that little voice in my head and convinced myself everything would be fine. Little did I know what was soon to come.
The wedding ceremony was beautiful. Surrounded by the natural beauty of the island, I vowed to always love and protect this women who was now my wife. We quickly settled into the routine of life together. I'd go out to hunt and fish, while she'd stay at home and cook. While I had no complaints there were a few things that seemed off. Some nights I would be woken up by the sound of the door creaking but when I'd look to my right my wife would be sound asleep beside me. Some days she would get up in the middle of dinner and leave without explanation. I never knew where she went but I didn't question it. All I knew was that she was a good wife to me and I loved her. I should've seen all the warnings but love can make a man blind.
The wedding ceremony was beautiful. Surrounded by the natural beauty of the island, I vowed to always love and protect this women who was now my wife. We quickly settled into the routine of life together. I'd go out to hunt and fish, while she'd stay at home and cook. While I had no complaints there were a few things that seemed off. Some nights I would be woken up by the sound of the door creaking but when I'd look to my right my wife would be sound asleep beside me. Some days she would get up in the middle of dinner and leave without explanation. I never knew where she went but I didn't question it. All I knew was that she was a good wife to me and I loved her. I should've seen all the warnings but love can make a man blind.
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| Ceylon. Source |
Author's Note: I wrote this story about Goblin City through the view of one of the men travelling through the land. The story didn't have much detail about what was going through the men's heads when they met the women and what led to them agreeing to get married. I thought it would be an interesting take and provide more background to the story going forward.
Bibliography: Goblin City
This is really good. I really like the approach of putting this story in first person to look at the thoughts and motivations of the sailors. That being said, the story left me wanting. You end with "Little did I know what was soon to come." As the reader, I want to know! Don't end it there! What happens? You've got me invested in the characters, I want to know their story now. Even though I have read the story this is based on, and know how it ends, I still want to see the end as you write it. What are the sailors thinking? How do they feel? How so they react? This is a good start, but it feels unfinished.
ReplyDeleteHi Joanna! I think incorporating the perspective of the men in the story is a great idea. I like how you captured the conflicting internal feelings of the narrator; the island and the women seem too good to be true, and although he casts this doubt aside and ultimately agrees to marriage, it might have saved his life to further investigate his uneasiness. The fire in the goblins' eyes was also a nice detail. Fire is incredibly beautiful and incredibly dangerous, just like the she-goblins, with their lovely appearances and their wicked intentions.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you started this. From the beginning you set the scene. You definitely transported me right into the story. I also really liked the choice you made of narrating the story through a first person point of view. This adds an interactive element to the story that, in my opinion, made it immensely more entertaining. Another aspect that I really liked was how you managed to add some growth to the main character in such a short story, and having it be based on the original that didn't really discuss the men's perspective. I really enjoyed your story but I agree with Alex. The story has a fantastic start, but the end seems, at least to me, a bit rushed. Having undertaken such an interesting perspective, I would have liked to see how you ended the story. I would have liked getting to see how the thoughts of the main character evolved over time.
ReplyDeleteHi Joanna! I liked how you did this story in the point of view of the men, its definitely in interesting take on the original. I also like how its the point of view of just one guy and not all of them. I want to ask why did you leave the story off at "little did I know what was soon too come"? Your story felt a bit rushed at the end and I was honestly expecting a better ending. What if you continued the story with something made up? You could talk about their day to day life or even talk about the wedding. I think reading about the wedding would have been a good way to wrap up the ending to make it sound better!
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